A while ago, I read an article about a man who decided to divorce his wife but couldn't go through with it when he realized that he truly loved her and had stopped working on their intimacy.......... It was indeed a seemingly sweet story and ended up like a Disney fairy tale but I began to wonder about life and relationships.
You see, I cannot pride myself on being a relationship guru of any sort…..….. actually it is quite the contrary! Half the time, I have no clue what is going on. So please, ................don’t get me started on this path cos it is truly amusing!
Anyway, I have dusted up a few times and life indeed continued. And no matter the history or lack of history behind a break up, the sun just has a way of shinning the very next morning. :).
In a way, I think it’s a good thing but I wondered what would it be like to share your life with another in Holy matrimony and all the trappings, being faithful (like I know I would be) and one day he tells you he doesn't love you any more, doesn't want you because there’s someone else! e.t.c
I don’t care how much of a happy person I am because even my Super TGIT (thank God it's today) nature that is screaming unashamedly within me. Will Mother Nature cut me some slack and just sit this dawn out because I don’t know if I can rise up with the new sun!
I seem to be going through life with the sun firmly tucked under my arm but something tells me that as I am today, I would lack the emotional and mental maturity and/or integrity to handle such a situation.
I haven’t tied the notch yet but goodness, that must be the ultimate betrayal, ultimate rejection and I do not think that humans are made to be that flippant about such things no matter what my inexperienced mind tells me.
So the question is can I handle that? Actually, the question would be How can anyone handle it? Because I know I can’t!
Truthfully, I have never felt bitter or lashed out after a break up even when it seemed deserving. I would even be hard pressed to say a negative word about an Ex so anyone can conclude that I’d do o.k. but deep down I just know that it would kill me royally!!!
I am so not sure how any woman or man can cope with unfaithfulness in a marriage heightened with rejection. I don’t even like to watch gossip TV about stars and what they do or even read tabloids about such things. I still haven’t gotten over Nicole Kidman & Tom Cruise and how much more Jennifer Aniston & Brad Pitt and they are not even related to me!
Me! the miss happy go lucky, smiling ever after! Yes Me! It would wreck me and I can see it clearly.
So today, I have a new found respect for women and even men in such situations, how they take it and so many of them even get better for it and choose to let God help them turn their lives around. I think it is amazing
The wife in the story I read got a fairy tale ending and one friend of mine calls and says to me '………oh! what a sweet story, it makes me want to cry"....... but then I think of so many others who never got their happy ending and I get so scared because I just can't help feeling that such betrayal should never even happen in the first place.
I believe that ''Weeds'' will always attempt to grow in a field, but a responsible farmer does not leave them to flourish and compete for nutrients with his crops. He will be observant and care enough to pluck them and throw them away because he cherishes his crops and that’s what makes him what he is. Weeds will always come, in our work life, relationships, finances e.t.c but each one of us has a responsibility. Unfortunately, in this age where accountability is low on our list of priorities; we hear all kinds of excuses where farmers even blame the crop when things are not faring too well. The grass will always look greener outside as long we stop watching over ours.
I pray not to be in shoes like I read and I hope for the Men and Women out there, faithful, patient, taking care of their families. I pray for strength, I pray for grace in the face of situations that seem so heavy to bear. I don't believe God instituted marriage so that we can make each other miserable so I hope we each find purpose in our lives, relationships and marriages.
Even more I sincerely pray for those of us yet to be married that we meet and marry the right partners and that we are patient and wise enough to wait for the right one at the right time. A friend of mine recently told me that he didn’t think I was the wife for him. I know it is hardly the melody we love to hear but believe me those were one of the kindest words spoken. For after all is said and done, would it not have been deeply cruel to hear it in ten or twenty years time? I think of all the people I have been friends with, his directness will always be more applauded than fancy words we tell each other these days.
I still don’t know anything about relationships, it is possible that I never would but one thing I know is that we are on the same side. We all want to love and be loved. The husband in the story just thought he had found love somewhere else but God never intended Misery and Fear and Shame in Love.
The weeds are out there and they don’t stop growing just because……………..so it starts now. Today we choose whether our lives will be well watered gardens as God intended or scary forests with no one passing through! So I am bracing myself up, I have some real farming to tend to! And God help us all!
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