Moving on

Should I return the call? That's the question on my mind. I had promised myself that I wouldn't find excuses to call, text or see Junior for any reason whatsoever.

In truth, I have kept my word. But what do I do when he sends the messages? Should I ignore them? But why when we didn’t have a fight or anything close. It's just that I believe that the first way to let my mind heal and get used to being without him, is to keep some distance between us at least for now.

So why is the process taking so long. I don't get it. I used to be pretty good at this. Moving on!!! Blanking out!!! It used to be so easy but now I seem to be struggling with that very basic concept.

Some days are great until a text or some form of communication.

Do I want to get back with him? Yes. No. I don't know!
Will I get back with him? Unlikely!

So why is this an issue?

I definitely have a traitor within me. A part of me that doesn't want to severe emotional ties. The more I force it, the more resistant it gets. So I gave up and told myself it will happen one way or another.

There's some truth in it that perhaps, on some level I am reluctant to move on. I don't know why but I know that if I truly wanted to get up and get going, I would have done so a long time ago & so fast that the dust would have long settled.

Still, I caution myself to take it easy & not push it just for the sake of moving on. Give myself room to get ready and be better or else I'll just be running around in circles. I know I have accepted the facts but sometimes the heart is a little slow. I am taking it one day at a time and I know this too will pass.

And perhaps, Junior will not be the last man I love! (I got that line from a movie)

But when the phone rings, it's my heart that gets there first.

Good Movie

MI3 was actually quite impressive. Half way through the movie I thought "this is even more tech than the MI1". There is no doubt that Tom Cruise is fantastic as far as action genre's go! He did good.

Overall, very convincing performance but too bad the ratings are not as grand because it is worth every Naira spent and even more.

Mission Impossible

I am going to watch MI3 today with friends. Miss A told me this morning that the film didn't make as much money as expected but $47M?? I think thats cool for any movie. Anyway the ratings seem good especially with Tom Cruise's dwindling fondness in the hearts of loads of Americans & even Nigerians (based on conversations at work & at home).

I think his divorce with Nicole Kidman really left us with a very very bad taste. I invited a colleague to come along with me & she said a very unhesitant NO!

I really don't blame her. "Vanilla sky" didn't do it for alot of us and even his good looks couldn't help our understanding of the plot. Tfaj says it was stupid. I slept through "Collateral". "War of the worlds" I liked but mainly because of Dakota Fanning. She's so great to watch at such a young age too. She alway comes across as real, carries her roles beautifully and she may just be 9 or is it 11 but to me she is one of the best.

Oh well, thats how it has been for our man Tom and unfortunately the whole Katie Holmes thing just seemed too staged and too over board. I guess for one she really has no precedence but then again we have seen through the man & we know how he schemes with eyes wide shut as well as his history to kiss and tell.

Miss A reminded me this morning of the Oprah show where he was jumping on the couch! Good grief!! Thats acting if you ever saw any. She also believes he controls Katie too as she doesn't seem to do much of her own talking. I must admit she seems fragile, and gullible and does come across looking like a victim which may be so far from the truth. Poor Tom!.

Bottom line; The TomKat saga did nothing to inspire affection towards the couple nor did it help his efforts to win back a place in the hearts of lost fans. (That is if that was the plan) At least not Tfaj who says he grew annoyed with all the hype.

On second thoughts, who am i to judge? He might just be another average Tom who has made mistakes, now falls in love with a new girl and just wants to move on enthusiastically with all the attention fame can afford.

Hmmm....................so Tom might be engaged in a personal "Mission Impossible" but for me, all i know for certain is this: I love the whole "Mission Impossible" series. All the action, intrigue, gadgets, plots, psychos, special effects, drama e.t.c and of course the Good looks too!!!

You have to admit, he is very easy on the eyes!

In The Beginning........

Finally, I blog!!

For a while, I have been meaning to write in my blog. Somehow, I was just convinced that I wouldn't find the right words, probably won't express it right, be too glib or perhaps be quite intense! Hmm.......... Anyway, although i am still not sure that I have found them yet but I'm more willing to explore, hopefully have fun and possibly learn more about myself in the process.

And truly, is there really a right or wrong way?? Unfortunately that's so me in the not too far past. I see life in Right or wrong. Black or white. Big or small. Up or down. However, I'm learning that in reality, life is not only about absolutes. There are colours, shades and sometimes even hues and now I am so willing to explore all of that and of course take my self less seriously!

So here I go to undoubtedly the beginning of an Unveiling of the true person that I am, will be and can be!