My dream last night

I remember the first time I saw him. I was with a friend and she tugged me saying “that’s him, that’s the guy I was telling you about” I took a look, tall, fair, a nap sack slung over his shoulders, t-shirt, jeans, boots and an ear phone. “Weird” I thought and put him off my mind. It was my first year in the university and he was supposed to be some sort of femme fatale but i didn't know him, he was nobody to me

Second semester, second year, I met Mr Weird. We were introduced, I vaguely remembered him from before. He smiled at me with such childlike enthusiasm, i couldn't help not liking him immediately. Easily the best looking guy I had ever set eyes on. Actually still is!

Next thing i know, he's every where i am..........was he stalking me? I wish! Anyway he was always there armed with ‘the smile’.

So i learnt he was rather nice, generous and could make me bend over with laughter effortlessly. So we laughed together, ate together, walked together, read together, and even went to church together but…….

…….there was this underlying message, we never talked about it but we both acknowledged, understood and accepted it - We were just friends and nothing more.

Thats how i learnt the value of a friend.

That with a friend, i have nothing to fear. Everything to trust
That i had gained a brother, a best friend and everything in between.
A friend will treat you like the most important person in the World.
And teach you about life
With a friend, you will know you are beautiful.

I can’t write about all the arguments we had or the making up that was even better. The smiles. The hugs. The caring. The lessons learnt.

I remember the day he left the country. It was like any other except that I finally realized that I was in love and I never even knew it. I cried all the way back to school. I cried for all the hugs I never gave, all the times he wanted to hold my hand and I felt it was too public, I cried for getting angry because he gave what was mine to a friend in need. I cried for all the times I said I was too busy studying and he’d just sit there watching me. I cried for all the words I never said. Yes, we had our issues but there was something that always kept us long after we should have quit and that’s why I cried, because I let him leave and I knew that I would never see him again. At least not in the same way I saw him that very last time and I was right. I never saw him again until my dream last night.

I had a dream last night. How real it seemed to me. We sat side by side in the park, the one close to the auditorium.
Beneath the tree’s canopy. We talked about the old times. The good, the bad and in between. We cried a little, we laughed so hard, as we reminisced about our yesterdays.
You looked deep in my eyes while we spoke. The way you always do and I felt so alive and vibrant with you so close by me.
Then the sun shifted her sit and we got up to take a walk, side by side beneath the heavens. I heard you say “I love you” and what a joy it was to have me in your life.
I whispered back in return. But you laughed when I said those words. I wondered why you did yet I didn’t ask, I kept silent and I never asked
You kept on talking, you always did that and I let you go on talking. “It’s getting late” you finally finished and kissed me on my lips.
I barely called out your name but I felt you walk away, fading from my view until you disappeared into the distance and that’s when I realized how much you meant to me and all the things I longed to say to you.
But you never heard those words cos I never saw you again. Until last night when I had a dream.

Thank you for giving me the best days of my life. You were my first true love. I feel sorry I never said those words but I wouldn’t want to change anything now. We’ve both gone our separate ways. I respect that and more. I only wanted to say that you were beautiful. You probably still are! You were good to me and I never even said thank you. I think this is my way of saying goodbye!